Opinion Where’s Anna?

On News Hour,the Native Place of over-reaction,we saw all its various components.

Overpopulated Panels: “On the News Hour tonight,” began Goswami,“taking positions…” And you leaned back in your seat as tiny windows whizzed into place,one by one,like the end of a successful game of Solitaire on Windows. Goswami took a deep breath and said: “SoliSorabjeeMaxwellPereiraAryamanSundaramNRamBalbirPunjAslamGhoniMrGhoniTheFirstQuestionIsForYou.”

And what a question! “Should Omar Abdullah apologise?” It is left unclear whom Omar is to apologise to. (To all but us unfortunate long-term viewers,who know the answer to any such question is always The Nation.)

Wait. Which one is Ghoni? You can hear his suitably indignant voice,but you don’t have the slightest idea which of the distinguished-looking faces is his. You squint at the screen: restless elderly gentlemen in tiny squares,like Harry Potter’s stamp collection. Your eyes flicker from one mouth to another. Which one is moving?

Sometimes more than one mouth is moving — actually,on Times Now,usually several are open and expostulating. On those occasions,give up.

Wilful Misunderstanding: Abdullah,famed for his maturity and restraint,tweeted this question: “If J&K assembly had passed a resolution similar to the Tamil Nadu one for Afzal Guru,would the reaction have been as muted? I think not.” (The TN resolution had asked for clemency for Rajiv Gandhi’s killers.) Abdullah has complained before that other states are not always held to the “loyalty standards” we constantly demand from J&K.

Abdullah’s point was promptly proved by Times Now,which led with Arnab Goswami,his face a mask of horror,declaring that Abdullah was “backing Afzal Guru.” (Goswami did try to read out the tweet a few times and got it wrong,so perhaps his misunderstanding wasn’t entirely voluntary.)

The first question: “Explain this to me. What does being CM of J&K have to do with supporting someone who has killed seven people and attacked Parliament?” Umm. Explain this to me: What does that question have to do with what Omar tweeted? Indeed,Goswami followed up that question with theatrical despair: “What is the idea here? I don’t understand the meaning of Omar Abdullah’s tweet…What did he mean? What did he mean?”

Soli Sorabjee broke in at this point in irritation to say: “Ask him. Why should anyone draw inferences and read things into his statement?” Goswami,bemused at the suggestion that reading things into statements was a bad idea,read the tweet out again and said that “in other words” (actually “in words so other as to be completely unrelated”) Abdullah was supporting Afzal Guru. Sorabjee,with the air of one patiently explaining things to a wailing teenager,said: “No,Arnab. He is supporting the mercy petition. He is not supporting Afzal.”

Goswami looked confused. “I’m still trying to understand,” he moaned. If a point that simple escapes the moderator of a session,perhaps it’s time to bring in an understudy?

The Discussion is the News: The reaction to Omar’s tweet was itself “too muted”,Goswami complained (a dangerous reminder to viewers of the existence of a similarly named button on their remotes). The News Hour sets out to fix that: creating,through a discussion,a falsification of the premise of the discussion — the sort of paradox that would have kept Bertrand Russell awake at night.

Is Sorabjee complaining that six venerable intellectuals struggling to decipher 12 words is a ridiculous excuse for news? Blame it on Omar Abdullah,Times Now’s director of programming! “It appears that politics is now carried out by 12-word tweets in the middle of the night,” Goswami said sourly. He went on to imply that the correct forum is on Times Now,explaining yourself to The Nation.

The Applause Line: Usually from a combative panel-member willing to take on the moderator,who,by not interrupting for an entire sentence,appears ‘Reasonable’ and ‘Tolerant’. Perhaps Maxwell Pereira: “I just want to ask you a question. Why do you get so excited when a death sentence is about to be executed?”

Or possibly,concluding the segment,from a bored,restless,and slightly deafened Sajjad Lone: “If people think he should not be hanged,that’s the reality,whether you like it or not. You have every right to not like it,you have no right to shut them up.” No right. But every intention.

mihir.sharma@expressindia.com