It’s at such moments that you appreciate Hindi news channels. On a day of blunder in ‘Beimaan’ Down Under, they struck lightning quick with the thunder. While English news channels tried to play the gentleman’s game, the Hindi-wallahs were more offensive.

Midday Sunday India lost to you-know-who. “Infuriating,” complained the NDTV 24x7 anchor looking rather pleased (to be on air at that time?). “Yes,” agreed a calm M.A.K. Pataudi, “it is infuriating.”

Too mild for our Halla Bol friends in the Hindi news studios: “Yeh Beimaan Hain”, hit out Aaj Tak, “Both umpires are beimaan,” potshot Zee News, just in case you thought either Bucknor or Benson were ‘fair’ weather friends. “Recall the team”. An hour later, it had simmered down. “Sydney ke villain,” the lady anchor’s teeth chattered with the chill in Indo-Australian relations. And, if you still didn’t get it, she roared, “Benson hunts down Ganguly and Dravid is Bucknor’s shikaar.”

Times Now asked: “Umpires cheat India?”as though it had missed the match, and then its correspondent who had (watched the match) stepped up: “Clearly shows Aussies were not playing a clean game and wanted to win at any cost. BCCI suspects foul play...”

“... The spirit of the game is being killed,” dead-panned Aaj Tak. If CNN-IBN was less violent in its reaction it was because the “Sydney shocker” had stunned it. CCC (Chief Cricket Correspondent!) Nishant Arora recovered sufficiently to say it was an “ugly series... The Australians have a habit — they don’t like people pointing at them...” “Cheats!” Headlines Today pointed the finger at them.

With the umpires dead-goners, Zee decided to finger someone else: “Yuvi kamzor kadi kyon?” it asked. The answer was there on Friday and Saturday: Yuvraj Singh celebrated his birthday on Star News and Aaj Tak with a cake, candles and a red, heart-shaped balloon (Aaj Tak) that bounced off Yuvi’s chest on to Deepika Padukone’s. And Sunday, when India’s Twenty20 hero became a zero in Australia, the camera turned to find Deepika in the stands. Hmmmn.

Monday saw Aaj Tak and Star News at full throttle. Aaj Tak has got a poet’s soul, or at least a rhyming one. No one does headlines better. Commenting on Harbhajan’s ban, it said “Game of shame”. The Indian team’s delayed departure for Perth was “Sydney mein satyagraha”. Meanwhile, Star News has learnt from sister, Star Plus, how to self dramatise. It replayed Bhajji and Symonds like it does those saas-bahu confrontations: Why was Symond’s word taken and not Sachin’s? Blah, blah blah: “Harbhajan ke saath Hindustan”. And then, music. No, it wasn’t the national anthem but could have been.

Did TV go too far? Of course. It was excessive. And, it was what we all wanted to hear. Admit it.

In the commentary box Sunil Gavaskar dissected, bisected the Australians, while Ian Chappell waited three overs before commenting on Ganguly’s dismissal even as Harsha Bhogle needled him. For a garrulous, straight from the bat guy, this was curious. And when he did break his silence it was to disagree with Gavaskar about Clarke’s catch and wonder who Benson questioned, when the replays clearly showed it was Ponting.

Suggestion: Time for Star Sports to hold a contest for good umpires on its Dream Job show and for Star Cricket to get neutral commentators. And remember, no more monkey business.

shailaja.bajpai@expressindia.com