Anything to declare?

THE prime minister’s call to his Cabinet colleagues to declare their worldly assets has a nice, open, transparent ring to it. Now I do hope these men and women will rise up to the challenge and reveal to the rest of us, the citizens of this country, that the economy is working — at least for them.

I mean, the last time the customs chief was asked to declare his assets —it’s another matter that the CBI had to arrest him, have him dismissed from service and twist his arm to get that declaration — we discovered that a humble officer can, through some application and hard work, acquire a tidy nest-egg of Rs 25 crore — and get the economy to work for him.

How much more potential then does a not-so-humble minister of the Republic have to create wealth for the nation and himself? That kind of money you and I are unlikely to see over several lifetimes, so it’s nice to be reminded that anyone — with the requisite application and hard work — can acquire such a sum within the span of a few years and, yes, it’s nice to be constantly reminded that the economy is working — for them.

Also, I hope Vajpayee’s Cabinet colleagues won’t cheat us of the unselfish delight that we have always taken in their bank balances, farm houses, luxury cars, diamond jewellery and Armani suits (because it indicates that the economy is working — for them — and we can always live in the hope that some of that moolah would eventually trickle down to us) by pretending they are on the verge of investing in a copper begging bowl and standing outside New Delhi railway station to support their starving families.

This I will not be able to countenance. I can bear farmers committing suicide, weavers hanging themselves, workers being laid off. I can reconcile myself to babies being bought and sold like vegetables in a bazaar and whole communities being burnt to a crisp in an angry summer. But the thought of ministers — men and women we elected with so much hope to office and the others who came in through the back door of the Rajya Sabha — living out a life of penury and wondering where their next meal will come from, that truly kills me.

Also I hope they won’t rush to their chartered accountants and get them to transfer everything they own to their children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, nieces, grand-nieces, nephews, grand-nephews, pet dogs, pet cats and pet parrots. That would seriously confuse us and send out the discouraging signal to the very young that there is no future in politics. I mean what’s the point of pet dogs getting fattened when the source of all the bounty is at starvation’s door?

Think of how this would discourage ambitious, talented young people from joining politics. They would then much rather prefer to become teachers instead and starve with some social respectability. Politicians, after all, have this gilt-edged legacy to preserve, one built up over several generations of committed governance. They have this well-deserved reputation of being the holder of the magic lamp that grants every wish; as the chimpanzee who resides on the branches of Kalpataru, the tree that provides for every desire.
Indeed, many have gone beyond the strictest call of duty and acquired so much wealth that they can seriously consider stuffing their pillows with the stuff or dispatching it wholesale to non-resident banks. And they have worked long and hard to ensure that the economy worked for them, feeding off animal feed and distributing free saris by the thousands so that they could clothe themselves.

There are ministers and former ministers who now figure in the annals of history for having altered the old adage, ‘work is worship’, into the far more agreeable one — ‘wealth is worship’ — and gone on to store redundant currency notes in their puja rooms. They made so much money through their application and hard work — and the economy had worked so well for them — that they have had to stack currency notes in their bathrooms and have fallen just short of using all these enormous reserves of paper as expeditious aids for correct toilet etiquette.

It is therefore my earnest plea to those who are now being asked by their prime minister to declare their assets, to do so with utter honesty, a virtue that has paid them such rich public dividends over all these years.

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