Naveen’s mango seeds

FIRST, a big apology to Tamil Nadu for messing up the recipe of rasam. It seems I had got it all wrong when I had claimed that rasam was made of equal parts of tamarind water and dynamite. Several angry letters and e-mails, including some made of pure dynamite from homesick NRTs, or Non Resident Tamilians, have pointed out that on no account is dynamite used to make the dish. I stand corrected and humbly apologise to anyone whose gustatory patriotism was hurt by my abysmal and egregious ignorance.

Now let’s go straight to Bhubaneswar where Chef Naveen Patnaik is waiting for us. Chef Patnaik, as you know, is one of the great cooks of India, besides of course being the chief minister of Orissa. Indeed, in his quest for culinary excellence, he has all but turned his state into a kitchen.

STRAIGHT FACE: Good morning, Chef Patnaik, and welcome to our show. What do you have for us today?

NAVEEN PATNAIK: Good morning. Today, I thought I would bring you an exotic dish from the Kashipur region of Orissa. You know, it really pains me when the media goes on and on about starvation deaths in this region. This is what I term as the cultural ignorance of city slickers who know nothing about eating habits and cultural ethos.

Straight Face makes suitable clucking noises.

Kashipuris have evolved a great cuisine through years of subsisting on minimalist inputting. I wait for the day when Kashipur’s diet is declared the national diet because it is essentially a non-fuss regimen that is excellent for working mothers and governments, like the present one, which just does not have the time or inclination to keep its people fed.

My state government, I would like to add, is extremely sensitive to these culture-specific dietary predilections of Kashipuris and has ensured that not a grain of rice reaches Kashipur through the public distribution system and thus pollute its rich traditions.

Straight Face makes suitable clucking noises.

Ask me how I do it. Go on. Well, for starters, in keeping with the sensitivities that anthropologists like Verier Elwin have urged us to have, we divert the money that flows for tribal relief projects from tribals, whose pristine purity and great cuisine could be corrupted by it, to contractors and other middlemen, whose eating habits demand more inputting.

Straight Face makes suitable clucking noises.

Through my government’s committed, tribe-sensitive, anthropologist-sensitive non-performance we have thus ensured that BPL families in Kashipur — BPL families incidentally stands for Below Poverty Line families — have in fact increased in number ever since development projects in the area were started, driving more and more people to adopt the famous Kashipuri dishes. These are carefully calibrated approaches and it hurts me to hear the accusations hurled at me by unthinking, tribe-insensitive, anthropologist-insensitive MPs in Parliament.

Straight Face gently reminds Patnaik about the dish he has to prepare.

Okay, to get back to our Recipe of The Day...The name of the dish — at least the name I’ve chosen to give it — is ‘Naveen’s Kashipur Special’. Preparation time. Well, the ingredients take some time to prepare and may not be readily available at your local grocery store but, otherwise, as I said, this is essentially a no-fuss recipe...
Take fifty mango kernels — I always use the kernels of Dussehris from Uttar Pradesh and whenever they are served at state banquets I request the kitchen to save the kernels after the guests have finished with them — and sun-dry them. You can of course opt for a short cut by popping them into the oven, but the sun-dried mango kernel has a special flavour that the oven-dried variety lacks.

However, only a true foodie would know the difference.

Straight Face makes suitable clucking noises.

Now, once the kernels are dried, you pound them into a fine flour. Some Kashipuris prefer to grind it roughly, but I go for the finer variety. Next, pour some water into the mango kernel powder — 4 parts of powder to one of water — and stir. Mmmmm. The aroma of this dish is divine. Simply irresistible, I can’t wait to eat it...

Okay, once it has formed a fine paste you set it aside on a large dish and prepare the garnish. Choose your own garnish, depending on whether parsley or thyme is available locally. Kashipuris, however, prefer to sprinkle their dish lightly with grass (when it is available) or straw, and decorate it with finely chopped roots and wild mushrooms. However, if you are using roots, ensure that they are washed until they are grit-free.

Yes, and one more thing. I always bring a special touch to my cooking. A romantic European flavour for that total eating experience. (With that he reaches for his fiddle and strikes up ‘The Blue Danube’.) Sometimes this dish can cause stomach cramps and even instant death. But that’s what makes this dish so very special. It’s so full of exciting surprises.

Earlier Columns