Su dhamaal chhe, what’s the fuss?

I CANNOT understand this violence being perpetrated on apro Gujarat. Everyday, some samacharpatr, newspaper, or other, is targetting this state, saying we are fascist. False, all terrorist lies. Do not believe what you read in these rags. I want to ask the media, aan shun chhe, what do you want? To blot Gujarat’s fair name? Ankomanthi aansu neeklya, it brings tears to my eyes, these lies.

See I, Narendra Modi, hun Ahmedabad rahun chhun, have been living in Ahmedabad all these days. Has anything happened to me? After my police boys locked up the terrorists who perpetrated Godhra — under POTO first but later, when the human rights wallahs started squealing, under IPC — things are much more peaceful. Rest is all play acting by media which wants to demoralise us and our great policemen.

Of course, a little reaction there must have been to Godhra but that is natural, scientific in fact. In school I learnt Isaac Newton’s Laws of Motion — of course, we all know that Isaac Newton was really Ishwar Nathuram from apno country, but leave that. According to him, har kriya ki pratikriya hoti hi hai. I will say in English, in an interaction between two bodies, the force exerted by the first body on the second is equal and opposite. This is proved by old Gujarati saying, jevun vave tevun lane, as you sow you reap. So aapna chhokra, our boys, must have got a little heated and created some extra chhokramat, boyish pranks, against other bodies.

But one thing please note. Within 72 hours we brought the situation under control. If the media had behaved itself, we may have brought it under control within four hours. Advanibhai also supported me in Parliament itself on this. I am saying everything is normal in Gujarat but these terrorists in the Opposition are not believing only. Wait till we pass POTO in joint session and put every terrorist in this country behind bars. Look at those Opposition terrorists, now they want me to resign. Hays Bhagwan, daya karo, O God be merciful! What for must I resign? For bringing peace in record time?

Today, some firings and killings are going on here, there, I admit, but nothing to worry. We have lodged FIRs against trouble-makers and even named some of our chhokra in these FIRs. Nothing major, of course, no POTO-shoto and all that. These boys are not terrorists, let me be clear, they are only doing extra chhokramat. You know, the usual thing boys do these days, throw kerosene on a house of worship and set it on fire, got to a restaurant and petrol bomb it, rape a few women here, knife or shoot a few people there. Arrey, all this is reaction only, bhai. Only media is making a big noise about these small-small incidents. But still, I told our boys, be careful. Dhirthi aiya, go slow, because they are waiting to get us, the terrorists. When things settle down, I told them, they can do what they want.

From now on my government is going to be very strict. I am going to follow Ishwar Nathuram’s First Law from now on: An object at rest will remain at rest unless an unbalanced force acts on it. So far all unbalanced forces in apno Gujarat have been locked up — later I may use POTO also. So things will be peaceful and the government will be at absolute rest. Only one thing is upsetting me. All these civil liberties wallahs. They’re wanting to know truth about Gujarat.

What truth? Only two truths are there: panch kahe te Parmeshwar, the voice of the people is the voice of God. And the true Gujarati people have spoken over the last fortnight. Second truth, nava Raja navi praja, new lord, new laws. I am the rajah here and my law will prevail. Don’t come here and nose about. We are perfectly capable of handling things. With our great police force, apno chhokra will do needful in creating great Gujarat. Man hoe to malve jawai, where there is a will, there is a way. Jai Gujarat!

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