Message to DD: Look sharp, somebody’s watching you

What does the public get for its money? A poor return on investment. Watch the Cricket telecast on DD National; imagine a man’s morning stubble — preferably Dhoni’s — under an electric shaver. Result? A hazy picture with the hum of a snore. Good, faithful Doordarshan with its unshaven look as though it has just woken up.

How to explain this continued poor quality transmission — now you see it, now you don’t — even though DD National is on the primary cable band along with all the most popular channels? How can DD ever win a sports telecast like this? It can’t, so it forces other channels to share broadcast rights by a Government fiat.

None of the private satellite TV channels could continue in business wearing Dhoni’s morning-after look. It’s about inattentiveness to detail. The lip synch on a serial such as Ehsaas hears characters speak what their lips say two seconds later — or the other way around.

And, from what we saw, DD is the only channel to still broadcast the Harpic commercial which invites you into the lavatory for a close up of a dirty Indian toilet over lunch. Meanwhile, satellite channels carry a Coke ad — where rather than cleaning toilets you whistle at (and with) Aishwarya Rai.

‘‘End of anera’’ (!?) read the headline on DD National’s Wednesday evening prime time bulletin as it announced the news of actor Raj Kumar’s death. There was a cheery-faced young lady by the name of Nisha Narayanan who delivered the bad news and the sad news with equal good cheer. Raj Kumar’s fans may have wished for a little more sobriety but Nisha was doggedly chirpy. In the clips that followed, several people spoke, but Doordarshan still believes in witholding identities so if you didn’t recognise Deve Gowda you’d have missed his eulogy.

Switch to the afternoon. There are well-meaning attempts to provide wholesome entertainment to children. This can take the form of last...