Opinion Cricket’s ten commandments

* Thou shalt not lose: The first lesson every cricketer who plays in the subcontinent has learned. Remember 2007? The same man who the fans are hailing as Midas S. Dhoni had his house stoned,along with Zaheer Khan’s restaurant,by those very same fans. The hysteria and hype is mainly responsible,raising expectations to such unreal heights. Bangladesh is the latest victim of fickle fans,even though it was the unfortunate West Indians who got stoned by mistake. No industrialist,scientist,innovator or religious leader is put on the same lofty pedestal as our cricketers,giving them the aura of supermen. Fictional heroes never lose which is why we readily replace fact and reality with fiction and fantasy.

* Thou shalt not lose to Pakistan: Losing is one thing,losing to Pakistan quite another. Again,blame mass jingoism,unabated since Partition and bolstered by subsequent events involving the two neighbours. The media has added fuel to the fire,with TV channels displaying tanks and bizarre weapons and cricketers in body armour. Losing to Bangladesh was bad enough but losing to Pakistan is the ultimate sin,capable of sending an entire country and the stock market into prolonged depression.

* Thou shalt worship one true god: It may be a team game,but cricket demands one superstar who symbolises greatness and durability and inspires the rest of the team. Sachin Tendulkar has been anointed in that role for many years,regardless of who is captain or his own form. His has been a model role or role model,and his “tears of joy” are now part of official cricketing history.

* Thou shalt turn cricket into a sociological phenomenon: It’s a very Indian trait,the tendency to analyse everything to death and give it a sociological spin. So now our victory is being seen as a symbol of new India,confident India,emerging superpower,a sign of optimism and hope among the new generation,and other variations of pop psychobabble. Here’s the downside. The emotional vacuum now the Cup is over,writes one psychobabbler,could have serious side-effects,like a sudden impulse to shave your head.

* Thou shalt always convey a sense of history: The history making has been overwhelming — first host team to win,first Asian finalists,first after 28 years,biggest TV audience,all time greatest captain,greatest team,the headline writers are having a historic time.

* Thou shalt honour the sponsors: “Men in Blue” has become a universal catchphrase but it was thought up in an advertising agency on behalf of a multinational client. Commerce and cricket are two sides of the specially minted coin,which is why it’s getting difficult to recognise the players for the logos.

* Thou shalt challenge the umpire: The umpire decision review is the most interesting innovation in cricket since bottle tops. It’s sweet revenge for players who have got a raw deal earlier while umpires can,equally,get stuck with those who like to appeal at the drop of a helmet. It’s called reverse swing or the crooked finger.

* Thou shalt use cricket for the greater good: Here’s the ultimate accolade to the sport — cricket as the agent of social change,as in we all celebrate together,rich and poor,servant and master,mister and mistress. Others allocate its rise as parallel to India’s symbolic triumph over colonialism. Cricket,more than other sports,has always been a great social leveller but you’ll never believe that if you watch the big screen in the stadium and see the famous faces the cameras follow.

* Thou shalt give proper thanks: It’s just not cricket if you don’t thank everyone for your performance — your guru,your coach,captain,teammate,teammates,mothers,fathers,in-laws and sundry other individuals,but in India,you have perforce to give a billion thanks,or thank a billion people,whichever comes first. It’s an emotional moment,so our cricketers can be forgiven their trespasses as long as they forgive us ours when we expect them to win the next World Cup,and the next.

dilip.bobb@expressindia.com